Random doodle post. Secrets out, I daydream about my man all the time. Also I apologize for being inactive.
Don’t mind my word vomit, but I am feeling the need to say this stuff somewhere. I don’t know why but I have the hardest time taking my life seriously, in particular my art. I have little faith in myself and I feel like the small faith others have in me is dwindling as well. So now I’m looking at what all my old friends have achieved in the last five years and feeling really crummy. They are graduating college, starting new careers, buying houses and even getting married, basically they have the building blocks to a wonderful future.
Then I look at what I have accomplished. I tried going to two different colleges, only to fall on my face mostly because of my own lazy habits and lack of ambition. Then I proceeded to work my ass off at a dead end job, to barely climb the ladder in a place that I never wanted to be my career. I pandered about in one relationship that I knew I would never be fully committed to. Then got extremely emotionally invested in a boy that could never actually be there for me. When he finally shattered the unrealistic dreams I had of a happy future with him, my best friend was there to pick up the pieces. She whisked me away to start over in Utah.
I came here with the intentions of doing great things, of showing the people who gave up on me that they were wrong. Honestly though, all I have done is proved their point. I have sat in self pity, lost in a state I don’t really know, feeling like a helpless kid. I feel like I have let my parents, my friend and myself down as of late.
Yesterday I finally landed a job, not a great one, but a job. It helped clear my head a bit, made me see that I have a chance here to redeem myself and I shouldn’t throw it away just cause I am scared of disappointing people. So I am giving myself a task. Our lease is up next summer, so everyday until next summer I have to achieve two things. Draw something and post it, no matter what I think of it. As well as write for a half hour everyday, I forgot how much writing helps me think.
Long story short, I’ll be starting a new tumblr today for just my art. This tumblr will be my personal one, so expect a post either later today or tomorrow with my new tumblr link. I apologize for this long winded text post, but thanks for always being a good place to express my feels.
Something Natalie, Amanda, and I are working on. YAAAaAaaaayyeee!
Sneak peek of a project my roommates and I are starting.
Look at this cutie! He is my new cutie patootie!
Simon Pegg and Nick frost’s Entertainment Weekly Comic-Con portrait
Can’t wait to see these two in action again! Just a few more weeks. I think i’ll watch Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead again this weekend!