I apologize but I need to do this
My bruises hurt, I feel like trash.
He kept holding my hands but not the way I would like.
Speaking just a little too loud, too aggressive.
Bringing up haunting feelings of similar out of control situation.
I messed up when I kissed him.
I just wanted him to stop talking so I could think.
I just needed a reprieve, the corner of the counter top was biting into my thigh.
Throughout I tried to focus on that.
I ran away to somewhere in my head.
Bruised lips aren’t romantic.
When I surfaced I plead to him that we still needed to pick up my friend.
My neck aches, that’s what is keeping me up.
I feel so betrayed, so dumb, embarrassed.
My heart aches too, cause even though he stopped I feel tainted.
Pray he forgot which one is my house.
Then last night my cute new friend invited me over.
I know he could see the bruises.
Before he could ask I told him.
There’s a possibility it could have scared him.
He has a very kind soul.
After a little while I noticed while we sat he was really trying to respect my bubble.
This rollercoaster is hard.
But his smile made the other man’s bruises hurt a little less for awhile.
I hope he doesn’t think less of me.
Maybe he can nurse me back.
I would appreciate that.
Nerd problems: I’m about to have friends over for the first time in forever, but my villagers are being so fucking cute today and my bed is so comfy.
Columbia University Student Will Drag Her Mattress Around Campus Until Her Rapist Is Gone
"I think the act of carrying something that is normally found in our bedroom out into the light is supposed to mirror the way I’ve talked to the media and talked to different news channels, etc," Emma continues in the full video which you can watch here.
So, I just want to go into HOW MUCH Columbia and the NYPD has failed, and revictimized, Emma Sulkowitz.
In her school hearing, Sulkowitz ” had to explain to the three administrators on the panel how anal rape worked. She told them she had been hit across the face, choked and pinned down, but, she said, one still seemed confused about how it was possible for someone to penetrate her there without lubricant. Sulkowicz said she had to draw them a diagram.”
"Her best friend was meant to be at the hearing; Sulkowicz had chosen her as her one “supporter.” But her friend was kicked out of that role for talking about the case, according to Sulkowicz, in violation of the university’s confidentiality policy. As punishment, her friend was also put on probation and made to write two reflection papers: one from the perspective of Sulkowicz and another from the accused."
FROM THE PERSPECTIVE
OF HER FRIEND’S RAPIST
- Two other women at Columbia have accused this guy of sexual assault/rape. But he’s been found not responsible in all instances, and is still on campus
- When she went to the police, one officer said: “”You invited him into your room. That’s not the legal definition of rape.”
- Another officer told her friends, who came with her: ““For every single rape I’ve had, I’ve had 20 that are total bull——,” he added. “It’s also my type of job to get to the truth. If that means being harsh about it, that’s what I do.”
I want to set literally everything on fire.
This makes my heart so very sad.
I like where I work. Also drawing on boxes is fun.